Parenting Gifted Children

Help, my child swallowed something!

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea) — Mon, 18 May 2009 19:39:00 +0000

I know it's important to remain CALM during emergencies. It's probably a good thing I'm not a doctor, because I panic when it comes to my kids in danger. Yesterday, Lanae (2 1/2) came running into the bathroom saying that she was choking on a bracelet (gag, gag). I know that it wasn't blocking her airway since she was communicating - I asked her what happened to it, and she said, "I swallowed it. It's all gone!"

I knew immediately what it was - a long silver necklace that I had left on my desk. Who would've thought THAT of all things would be a choking hazard for a nearly-three year old child? I couldn't even imagine. How did it even go down? She must've had it balled up in her mouth before she accidentally swallowed it.

So after the shock wore off (she got freaked out by my freaking out), she seemed undisturbed, so she went to sleep and we checked on her a few times at night to make sure she wasn't drooling, gagging, or anything like that. I gave her a bunch of dried fruit and juice in the morning, and it emerged on the other side about 16 hours after the incident.

So I guess the lesson to bear in mind that children really do DUMB things and even with children you think are old enough to know better - take precautions! I thought she had far outgrown the putting random things in her mouth stage - clearly I was wrong. I am grateful that it wasn't anything that contained lead, a battery, or penny - or I would've been much more worried.

Time to re-childproof the house!!

Teaching Young Children To Read

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea) — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 03:02:00 +0000

When the girls were very young (about 9 mos. - 18 mos.), I showed them the Your Baby Can Read series for about 20 minutes each day. We watched NO other TV during this time (not the news in the family room, cartoons, or anything else) and read tons of books. We basically replaced other TV they might have otherwise watched with Your Baby Can Read. The object of the program is to teach young children that symbols represent meaning. Not unlike unlike how very young children recognize waving means "bye bye," except they are being taught to recognize the written symbol as opposed to waving or "high fives" or other symbols. The videos also teach them that words are read from left to right in English.

Clearly, simply sitting your child in front of a TV for 20 minutes a day isn't going to teach them to read. My basic strategy is to always point out the written word (in books, in stores, wherever) - and use my finger to underline words from left to right. This has also taught my kids from a young age to read sentences/linking words. I've labeled random stuff around the house (was fun for my older child, my younger one could care less). Finally, I read a lot myself so they pick up on my enjoyment of reading - teaching by example.

Can only gifted kids read early? Disclaimer: I am not an educator, but I do believe you can teach kids within the normal range to read earlier than kindergarten. For now, Lanae (30 mos.) is simply memorizing the shapes/symbols - and is NOT yet sounding out the words. My 5 year old did this as well at first, but by 3 years old she was able to sound out words phonetically - without formal instruction. The advantage for us in reading early is that my 5 year old now reads for understanding, leisure (before bed to lull herself to sleep), and to gain knowledge. We've never had to work on the mechanics of reading which it's obvious that most parents spend years doing. Now, she can pick a topic - say, the nervous system, and do research on it without having to sound out words or struggle through phonics. For us, this means that we can have fun instead of spending hours every night learning to read between the ages of 6-8... it's given us a lot more free time than we would've otherwise enjoyed with our children.

Here is a quick impromptu video shot today that demonstrates how Lanae is reading at 30 months of age. Note that she has memorized some of the book, so I make her point out the words so I know that she's actually reading the words. I find this helpful to check understanding.

30 Month Milestones

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea) — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 23:41:00 +0000

So I've been a bit behind in posting milestone progress stuff for Lanae. She is just over 2 1/2 now, so I will post here what she's doing today:

Counts to 50

Reads perhaps 500 words+

Known her ABCs, and identifes upper and lower case letters for all since she before she turned two

Can read sentences like, "The boys and girls are at play," or "Jamie likes to read books with his brother," and "The cat has set a trap". She is still memorizing words I think as she is not sounding them out yet - but she is taking educated guesses if I ask her where an unfamiliar word is.. she will look at the first few letters and be able to identify the word on the page.

Can complete 24 piece puzzles

Was "self" potty trained at 22 months

Talks in very complete sentences/paragraphs. Can say, "Leah told me to take this watering can outside so that I can water our lavender plant!" or "I didn't do it because Leah was actually going to do it."
Identified all of the colors at around 24 months (verbal and written)

Very well developed fine motor skills - even better than Leah at this age. Lanae can cut using child scissors (since 24 months).

Has known her shapes since about 24 months.

Maybe this is a 24 months milestone list?

Gifted Sibling Fighting - Rivalry

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea) — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 04:13:00 +0000

After some informal analysis of friends, and friends of friends - I've come to a totally unscientific conclusion. That my kids fight more than everyone else's. I mean, they fight over everything. I consider myself to be an ok mom - I don't do anything out of the ordinary and nearly every waking moment is spent caring for them or thinking about the next move - to the detriment of friendships, social life, and running my business.

With the New York attorney mom that just got arrested/questioned by CPS? for kicking her fighting kids out of the car using the familiar phrase, "If you don't stop fighting RIGHT NOW, you are walking home (or getting no TV for a week, or whatever the threat of the week is)," makes me consider my own reaction to the same fighting. The girls are now 2 and 5 and kick, scream, pinch, and bite (yes, I caught my relatively civilized 5 year old biting her toddler sister in the back - hard to defend that).

My biggest gripe is that the fighting in the car is unsafe and I have nearly gotten into an accident on more than one occasion and find myself constently taking away privileges and being extraordinarly stresed out at the end of the ride. To make matters worse, I drive 30 minutes each way to school so that Leah can attend a public school that caters to gifted children. If the housing market hadn't tanked, surely I would've moved closer, because the driving is nuts for many reasons.

If anyone has any strategies on dealing with the intensity of gifted kids and the sibiling rivarly that goes along with it, I am all ears! I know all kids fight, but my kids fight to the DEATH. There is lots of screaming, threatening, and physical violence. I protect my smaller child when I think she's in physical danger, otherwise I mostly expect them to work out themselves - OR in most cases I execute discipline (quiet time in separate rooms) regardless of who committed the act. I try to teach them that they are responsible for one another's actions. It's the nonstop screaming that grates on my nerves I guess. Comments, anyone?

Carousel Charity Horse Show

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea) — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 03:56:00 +0000

This weekend Leah won the blue ribbon in her class at the 38th Annual Carousel Charity Horse Show at Westworld in Scottsdale, Arizona. She showed Saturday and Sunday in the Academy Equitation Online Walk for 8 Years Old and Under, and the Academy Showmanship Online Walk Only 8 Years Old and Under - and won 1st place in both competitions.

Carousel Charity Horse Show

Fox News Phoenix Airs "Your Baby Can Read"

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea) — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 23:46:00 +0000

So the girls were profiled again on the news, this time on Fox 10 Phoenix this past Sunday at 9pm for their early reading skills. With the intensive school budget cuts taking place, it is imperative that parents take an increasingly central role in the academic success of their children. While this should have always been the case, relying on the public school system to teach your child to read (with 30 other kids in the same overcrowded classroom) is a huge mistake. There is no possible way that a teacher can work individually with each student in today's classrooms.

I wish that the reporter, Keith Yaskin, had touched on the particular relevancy of "Your Baby Can Read" in light of the overburdened and underfunded public school system. Especially in Arizona - ranked nearly dead last in per pupil funding. Giving the kids tools early on to understand their world and the symbols in it can increase self-esteem and future academic success. It is impossible to argue that there is not a link between reading aptitude and academic success - from Kindergarten through Grad School... those who read better and faster perofrm better.

In fact, there are several students in Leah's kindergarten classroom this year that won't be advancing to first grade, and perhaps if those parents had known about "Your Baby Can Read" - the outcome would have been different.

I'm confused about the skepticism of this program, since parents willingly put kids in front of Sesame Street and other "educational" shows. There is little difference between teaching a baby that waving (the symbol) represents hello or goodbye, and the word "cat" represents a strange furry animal that lives in people's homes. Symbol = meaning. Pretty simple... whether it's words, gestures, colors, shapes... they are all symbols. What am I missing here?

I always knew this day would come

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea) — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 03:57:00 +0000

Today is the day, in a way, that I fully realize the implications of having a gifted child. I am sadder today than I have been in a very long time; sad enough to reflect on my own experiences as a young child - and the sadness, loneliness, and despair I recall, even as early as first grade. I had stomachaches - constant stomachaches throughout my school years, but particularly in elementary school when I don't think I had any tools or outlets to deal with my own frustrations.

Leah is nearly 5 years old. Yesterday she had an accident in her pull-up just prior to bedtime.. I was LIVID. To me, this was a choice, not an "accident." Today, she had another accident in my car on the way home from school - which she did not tell me about. Hours later when I found the "evidence" (wet gymnastics outfit, wet carseat - not spilled water), I put the pieces together. After a LONG drawn out conversation in the car that included, "why are you having accidents? mommy is disappointed in you.." etc., she has ANOTHER accident at home about an hour later.

I am almost thankful that her dad was out of town on business tonight, because the usual "noise" of the house wasn't there - and I could focus on her. The third incident alarmed me, and I wasn't angry anymore... as this was different... I was very very very concerned. I know that children typically have accidents during times of stress, but I wasn't aware of any abnormal stress in her life... work schedule (ours) is normal, school schedule normal, nobody is sick, normal normal normal. So I decided that I would really, really listen to Leah for a change. I asked her, "What's going on? Is there something that you need to talk with me about? Something that's bothering you?" She said, "Yes," and proceeded to explain - in detail - about how her best friend at school hit her (twice, not just once) when they were playing freeze tag, and how her friend doesn't like her anymore.

Normal childhood slight? Yep. Normal childhoold response? Nope. I feel so sad for Leah sometimes that she has to carry these intense emotional burdens that a 4 year old just shouldn't have to deal with yet. Again, this brings me back to my own youth when I felt completely isolated and friendless. I can't help but wonder how prevalent friendlessness is among gifted kids. Or at least perceived friendlessness. At times I think that everyone hated me, but perhaps it was just my own intense emotional response to normal childhood communication.

Counting to 10 at 18 Months

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea) — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

Milestone Alert!

Lanae can count to 10 while stacking blocks! A few weeks ago she was missing several numbers but she did it once - flawlessly - two days ago... woo hoo Lanae! She's reading tons and tons of words now and talking up a storm, frequently linking 2 words together and 3 on occasion. "Bye Grandma," "Rock you daddy," "Honey Honey," (mamma mia!) "Naughty Lanae," "Mommy's shoes on! (her feet)," "Leah's shoes on! (also her feet)," "Daddy's shoes on! (you get the picture)," "More juice please" "Go bye bye now?" "Cool! Let's go! (seriously)" "thank you," "Please," and "You're welcome" are also frequent.

The kids had a fun Easter today, looking for eggs and eating TONS and TONS of jellybeans and jelly bellies. Just thinking about all that sugar makes my teeth hurt! Thankfully the post-Easter sugar meltdown wasn't an academy award winning performance from either girl... so we got through this one unscathed!

Discipline for Gifted Kids - Separating Beans

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea) — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 19:25:00 +0000

I recently attended a lecture from Dr. Paul Beljan, a psychologist with extensive experience treating gifted and twice-exceptional children. During this lecture, he outlined a very unique strategy that works particularly well for gifted children in helping them to decompress during times of anxiety, stress, and the meltdown behavior that is so typical of the gifted. He was careful to point out that it's not a punishment type of strategy, but it is a replacement for the typical time-outs (that I personally don't feel have worked very well for our family - even with very consistent application).

So, here it is - are you ready?

Have Your Gifted Child Separate Beans!

First, get buy in from your child with a nice conversation before bedtime or while they're in a good mood. It might go something like this, "It's not very fun to have to go to time out or lose privileges, is it? Wouldn't it be nice to never have to go to time out again or lose your computer/TV/Game Boy time?" Gifted child responds, "What do you got? Sounds good to me!"
Tell them that instead of time-outs and losing privileges, they're going to separate beans. I also let Leah know that it's not really a "punishment" but rather a way to help her stay in control and calm down when she's upset. She was really positive about it....
How you do it: Buy some uncooked dark beans (pinto or black) and white beans. Mix them together in a cup and provide two other dixie cups in which to separate the beans into.
When they get stressed (Dr. Beljan also pointed out that it was important to catch the kids whenever possible during their "ramp up" or "peaking" time, before the meltdown actually occurs), you instruct them to please go "do the beans".
They are to sit at the table until the beans are completely separated.
You are NOT NOT NOT to give them any attention or talk to them until it's done.

Why it works: The reason that the bean strategy works is that the beans feel good in their hands (cold, smooth) and stimulate the brain's feel good response. It forces the child out of the stressful situation where they must focus in order to successfully separate the beans. It gives them the time they need to decompress.

After the beans are separated, the child still must have reparations for their offense (apologize to sibling, mom, pick up purposefully chucked toy, say sorry, etc.) After they do this, it's OVER. No more consequences, it's forgotten and they are forgiven.

My experience thus far:

I was really excited to try this out and I'm happy to report that so far so good on about 5 bean-separating situations. I did have a particularly challenging situation last night that underscored really how kids can up the ante when they are challenged with something new like this.

It was late, and Leah was tired. Leah throws insane screaming meltdown fit after she is unable to use her words to help me unzip her outfit (she instead was whining and crying, and I tell her to go separate the beans. She screams during the first few minutes of separating but then calms down and successfully finishes her mission. Leah, however, is still extremely MAD at me for making her do it and refuses (hands across chest, back to me) to apologize. I tell her that's fine, but let me know when she's ready to talk - and I leave the room and make her continue to sit in the chair. She is VERY tired and ready to go to bed, so sitting in a dress at the kitchen table alone was probably killing her - even so, it took about 15 minutes for her to suck it up and apologize. But for me, there was a clear path to forgiveness for Leah so it was an easy strategy to implement successfully.

Good luck, and happy bean counting!!

Read more on the specifics of Dr. Beljan's unique strategy for discipline of our highly gifted kids.

Math whiz on overdrive

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea) — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 06:00:00 +0000

As of late, Leah has been very interested in math - loves math at school, at home, wants to do math all of the time. She constantly hounds me to ask her progressively harder math questions for her to solve in her head, "Ok, now ask a harder addition question..."

This interest in math has been sudden and VERY intense. I've been having to buy math workbooks from the learning store that she completes in about a day, and I've noticed much more math work coming home from school. She is doing easy multiplication now, and adding of numbers like 150+50, (higher whole numbers in the hundreds and thousands) and single digit addition all in her head. She does double digit addition on paper, as well as the multiplication she is beginning to learn. The last couple of math books she whizzed through from the teacher store were 2nd grade level, so I'll probably try a 3rd grade level just to see how she does. She just thinks they're fun and I'm defninitely brining them with us on an upcoming vacation.

I guess I now know how that mysterious 99th percentile in the quantitiatve test is manifesting itself! This is definitely her idea of fun these days, but kind of exhausting for me to keep coming up with math questions on the fly, in the car, at dinner, making dinner, etc.. for her to answeer \

Love you little sweetie.!!

See, learning Finnish isn't so hard!

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea) — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 19:21:00 +0000

Leah's grandma gave her a list of Finnish numbers on Saturday night, and Sunday morning she woke up and wanted to read them first thing. Here she is reading her Finnish numbers:

Lanae Updates - 16 1/2 Months

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea) — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 20:56:00 +0000

It seems like Lanae's personality has taken a dramatic turn for the crazy side in the last month. It is a VERY noticeable personality change - clearly this is learned/environmental behavior from watching her older sister. Lots of screaming when she doesn't get her way, and Leah & Lanae are starting the power struggles already! Lanae is talking a lot more, and linking two words together. She's reading over 50 words at this point, but not always reliably. The unreliability of reading I think is due to her short attention span rather than her not actually knowing the words.

Lanae's funny thing of the moment is "swiping". She'll casually walk up to people (usually Leah) and act very nonchalant and quickly steal whatever it is she shouldn't have (pens, glasses of water, scissors, etc.) and take off screaming, laughing, and running as fast as her little legs will take her. The funniest part is when you catch up to her and she chucks said item as far as possible!

Here's a video of Lanae reading on Christmas Eve reading some words from her complimentary "Your Baby Can Read" flashcards. She's so distracted it's hard to get her attention!

Some other recent milestones:

Today she indendently stacked 7 blocks atop one another and repeatedly counted out the numbers 1, 2 and 8 when we were stacking them.
She is easily kicking a ball across a room, soccer-style
She SINGS! She sings the entire Twinkle Twinkle and Old MacDonald songs - even in tune!! It's hysterical because she yells the songs really loudly.
She's starting to use pronouns like "mine," "I sick" (Leah sick too!)
Follows two step instructions - "go to your room and get me your blanket"

Lanae and Leah Updates

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea) — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 03:45:00 +0000

Lanae's Hip Synovitis has seemed to resolve itself - our prayers were answered. She is back to walking normally and her vomiting and diarrhea have also ceased. WHEW!! I never thought I'd be so happy to see a well-formed poop! The only remaining change in behavior is some crying out while sleeping, but I have a feeling that could be attributed to teething - she is breaking all of her baby molars now.

Lanae is talking up a storm and repeats EVERYTHING back - something she wasn't doing just a couple of months ago.

Leah is doing basic addition at school - 3+9, 4+7, 2+6, etc. She seems to catch on to it fairly easily; the Montessori method of teaching math is the coolest. A very tactile and concrete way to learn math-- why don't they teach math like that in public school?

Acute Transient Hip Synovitis at 16 Months

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea) — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 05:35:00 +0000

It all started on Thanksgiving when Lanae had a nasty stair spill while our family was spending the holidays in Sedona. She scraped her eye something good and had a pretty good black eye with it as you can see in the picture. Following the spill, Lanae didn't seem particularly distressed or confused - nothing to indicate major trauma had occured such as a concussion, etc.

We proceeded to eat dinner as normal with our well-mannered, but scraped up little one. The following morning she vomited several times (so around 24 hours after the fall) and continued to vomit once a day for nearly 2 weeks afterward. She also started having diarrhea when the vomiting began, so it seemed to be a simple gastro irritation or viral infection of some kind.

Two days ago Lanae awoke in the morning unable to use her legs to stand or walk. Immediately I took her to the Emergency Room - concerned about the not walking, continued diahrrea, and irritability. Was any of this related to the fall she took on Thanksgiving? After some lab work and an Xray of her hip, she was diagnosed with Acute Transient Hip Synovitis - or fluid in the hip. According to my preliminary research there are 3 primary "causes" of this disorder, although it doesn't seem to have been studied to any great degree.

1. Recent Viral Infection - CHECK
2. Recent Trauma - CHECK
3. Recent Immunizations - CHECK

Basically, the cause of this is a crap shoot. We are now on day 3 of not walking, and have Lanae taking iboprofen only every 4 hours. The doctors have advised that her SED rate is low and her white blood count is only slightly elevated - both good signs. The elevated white blood count is likely due to her body fighting off the viral illness/diahrrea.

We are watching her closely for signs of an elevated temperature/fever - as this could indicate an infection in the joints which would be cause for serious concern and an immediate trip to the ER for further tests. I am told to expect improvement in 3-5 days, so that leaves us another couple of days.

Please send your warmest thoughts and prayers to Lanae for a speedy recovery!!

16 Month Developmental Milestones

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea) — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 04:03:00 +0000

First things first - this is perhaps the best toddler age.. SO fun!

Lanae LOVES to sing and can sing along to the most common children's songs (but completely lights up and starts dancing to Dan Zanes too!)

Old McDonald - Lanae says "EIEIO.."
ABC song - Lanae says, "ABDD..."
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star - Lanae says, "up ab-ub da wor..."
Itsy Bitsy - Does the finger movements!

She is saying hundreds of words now, and will mimic almost anything. Curiously, she won't mimic very hard words - it's as if she knows which words she can say and which she can't even before she tries. She's just in the early stages of linking words together.

An incomplete list of her current verbal words:

Bye Bye .. "Dada, Mommy, Leah.. (Eah)"
Hi... "Dada, Mommy, Eah..."
Pluto (Poop-oh)
glasses
Food: cheese,
Body parts: Names & Points to most -- eyes, nose, mouth, teeth, toes, legs, arms
toothbrush "bush" (rhyming with shush)
toothpaste "pate"
thank you
all done
recognizes and verbalizes many animals: duck, cat "meoooow", dog, bee, horse "neigh neigh", turtle, fish, cow
plane
no
circle (upon drawing a circle)
happy
sad
hat
sick
yuck
ouch
"I sick"

Reading and saying the following words (have not been practicing, these are offhand):

clap
wave
shaking
waving
cat
dog
eyes
nose
mouth
teeth
baby
head
cow
hat

Her fine motor skills seem to be really well developed for her age. She is fairly easily wielding a fork and spoon consistently at mealtimes and enjoys using them. She can also very gingerly drink out of a bottle of water without spilling on herself!

She recognizes the circle shape and the word "circle"

Where were we before we existed?

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea) — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 05:01:00 +0000

The questions Leah is asking on a daily basis are blowing my mind. I am struggling with how to answer her progressively complex questions relating to death, life, and conception. All of which are extremely provacative, sometimes downright haunting coming from a 4 year old. First, as a mere human mortal who leans toward agnosticism, I have no idea what the "truth" is; yet, I don't want to muddy her pure, 4 year old thought processes as they relate to God, heaven, death, evolution and the cycle of life on our planet. With every question and answer I am cautious about saying the wrong thing that preclude her from continuing to question and keep the dialogue open. Second, I struggle with guiding her to a "neutral" place (my neutral means more scientific I suppose, so definitely not a neutral position -- but we all process information through our own filters and my filter indicates neutral = science) where at some point she will have the tools that she needs to ask the questions in order to find her own individual spiritual and religious path. I realize that her spiritual and religious beliefs very likely may counter mine, and I will both encourage and appreciate whatever path she follows. My position on many issues - particularly religion - is definitely not mainstream America. I digress... all I really wanted to post was a few of the examples of the questions she has been asking:

"How big is heaven?" "How many people can fit there?" "Is it going to get full?"

"Will I be alone in heaven?" "Who will be with me when I die?"

"Where was I before I existed? In heaven?"

"How did I come into existence?" (my answer - to this one and the former - a very diluted version of the birds and the bees.. "you only existed when mom & dad conceived you..." her response, "when you were married?" Ummm, no... a little before then...)

Where was I before I was in your tummy? (similar to the others)

There are so many more that I will post as soon as I remember them or she continues to question in her so-unlike a four year old way.

Existential Questions about Death and Dying - Common in Gifted Children

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea) — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 05:21:00 +0000

Lately Leah has been inundating us with questions about death and dying - this following the recent passing of her Grandfather (in another state) as well as our beloved 2 1/2 year old Betta fish Betty who perished after jumping out of her bowl onto the counter. Although we had been asked many questions about death prior to the passing of her Grandfather, the questions have recently been in much greater depth and it's becoming progressively more difficult to field the questions due to their increasing detail/complexity.

Unfortunately, this quite rational concern about mom and dad dying (When are you going to die? When am I going to die? I don't want to die for thousands of years! I don't want daddy to die ever!) has escalated in intensity and detail as of late. She never had the opportunity to meet her paternal grandmother, who shares her middle name, but has been asking questions about her as well as other relatives (her sisters and brothers, their kids, who is who..) and wanting to look at pictures of Grandma and Grandpa - on a daily basis for several weeks now. One of her questions tonight was, "Are Grandma and Grandpa in the same heaven?" Curiously, our immediate family isn't religious yet Leah has been linking God, Heaven, and Death together in order to try and figure out what's going on. During a recent conversation about her Grandmother Evelyn, Leah asked who "Henry" was and asked if he was in the army? I had absolutely no clue what she was referring to, so I called my husband to ask him. After about a minute of consideration and thinking "who is she talking about?", he realized that Leah had remembered a gravestone from many months ago that is located above her Grandmother's site with a family member "Henry." The really, really unnerving thing about this was that Dad reports that it was never discussed with Leah during the trip.

I feel so sad for her sometimes, why does a 4 year old have to carry such a burden of concern about when her parents are going to die? On almost a daily basis, it nearly drives her to tears. I can't imagine what would happen if an immediate family member actually did fall ill and/or die. I just ordered 3 books from Amazon to try and help us deal with her questions and concerns through reading - since this is a way for her to more easily grapple with these serious existential questions about the Universe and the cycle of life. The three books I ordered were Love You Forever, What Is Death, and Gentle Willow: A Story for Children about Dying. I hope reading and discussing these books will give Leah some peace. We're also going to try meditating, quiet music and lots of DEEP HUGS to help mediate her emotional intensities a little. These are a few of the suggestions our psychologist provided to us. So far - a deep, rocking hug was just what she needed during a recent world-class meltdown!

Stanford-Binet IV (SB-IV) - Accurate for 4 year old?

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea) — Sun, 07 Oct 2007 02:44:00 +0000

I am starting to empathize with all of the forums I've read with parents venting frustrations with the "systems" in place to accommodate testing, identification, and placement of our gifted young children. This was sure a whirlwind couple of days following Leah's SB-IV test!

Although the SB-IV test is "normed" for 2 years and up, both the psychologist and subsequent conversations with other experts had doubts if the test accurately reflected Leah's true abilities - particularly in the verbal and comprehension areas.

Leah was also administered the Wide Range Achievement Test - 4th Ed. (WRAT 4) in order to try and assess her reading abilities. The WRAT is generally administered to children five years and older, but since Leah is reading at a high level it was deemed appropriate.

The WRAT indicated that Leah is reading at a 2.8 grade level, in the 99th percentile and spelling at a 1.4 grade level and in the 94th percentile. Curiously, her Stanford-Binet IV results on the verbal and comprehension were average to high-average - lower than I had expected I guess. The examiner's opinion, however, was that Leah's true intellectual abilities are likely much higher and wrote "testing young children often yields variability across scores, and the same was true for Leah... the reason for this score discrepancy was likely due to the fact that the child does not have expressive language and has not had an opportunity to benefit from formal education."

The shocker, though, was her score in the 99th percentile (the highest she could have achieved) on the Quantitative Reasoning Score. The examiner wrote that Leah likely has more ability than her score suggests because she is only 4 and has not had the opportunity to benefit from formal education in arithmetic. The report stated that "regardless, she was answering questions well within the 2nd grade level and has a clear understanding of numbers."

The reason we had tested Leah this early (4.2 years) was due to a very limited space self-contained gifted K-2 program in our area. Her scores, however, (very likely due to her age) did not qualify her for the self-contained program. My (inaccurate) understanding was that it was self-contained or nothing. I had called the Scottsdale school district and was told (by someone in the gifted ed department, no less!) that no opportunities for pullout gifted education are available until 3rd grade. This almost caused mom a MELTDOWN!! Ok, so my child is reading at a 2.8 grade level NOW (a year before kindergarten) and can do arithmetic at the 2nd grade level, but since she wasn't able to define particular words (although she knew them in context) during the test, her global score suffered and rendered her ineligible for self-contained gifted education? Putting a child of Leah's abilities into a Kindergarten where her peers are just learning counting and their ABCs would be an absolute tragedy. Thankfully, it doesn't seem that the end result will be too bad.

Luckily, most Phoenix-area districts are open enrollment so I called another school district to inquire about opportunities for Leah based on her test score. The head of the Gifted Ed department in this district gave me an entirely different perspective on Leah's results. The psychologist seemed to convey that Leah was a "bright" girl, but not "globally gifted." Again, so a child who can do 2nd grade math and read chapter books at age 4 isn't gifted? Then who is? The Gifted Ed administrator, a well-respected published Ph.D. in gifted education, told a different story about Leah's results. She said the quantitative scores were among the highest she'd ever seen in a 4 year old and that her reading skills are WELL in line with what is expected for the self-contained sect.

During a long conversation, we discussed the pros and cons of self-contained and other options for Leah - namely "clustering" in the classroom - which is available in every single Kindergarten class in the Paradise Valley school district. WOO HOO! The kids in the self-contained K-2 program, an immersion program, are always working a minimum of 2 years beyond grade level. She indicated this can be quite stressful for some, but others clearly need the rapidly accelerated curriculum that only self-contained education can provide. She indicated that she would be "astounded" if Leah did not qualify for the self-contained if she were re-tested at age 5. The self-contained program requires a global IQ result of 140+. Leah wasn't too far off - but her verbal and comprehension scores drove the average down. Moreover, by hitting the celing on the quantitative score, her score was affected negatively there as well.

After several discussions with the school administrators, I feel comfortable with the decision to put Leah into a "clustered" Kindergarten classroom with the expectation that she may not be challenged enough, although the possibility certainly exists that she would thrive in the clustered environment! The administrator suggested that we should know fairly early on into her K year if she will be challenged enough in the clustered classroom. If she is not, the option exists at that point to test her (within the school system, since they will test at age 5) and put her on the waiting list for the self-contained 1st grade class (or even mid-way through her kindergarten year if space is available, which is unlikely) if she qualifies.

My heart goes out to parents and families and children who live in areas where the options are FAR more limited. I am thankful that I found a fairly progressive public school district that has clustering in EVERY K-2 classroom in the district. Unfortunately, a lot of misinformation exists about the options available for gifted education in Phoenix. I'm still angry about the Scottsdale School District person (IN the Gifted Education Department) who drove me to tears with her abrupt, "I'm sorry, there are no gifted pullout options until 3rd grade. (Click)" While technically accurate, she could have added something like, "although there are no 'pullout' options until 3rd grade, we do have a progressive system in place that clusters kids of high abilities in mixed-abilities classrooms in the K-2 classes. Many kids who qualify for the self-contained in fact thrive in the clustered environment..." Would that have killed her? UGH! Seriously, why is she working in a Gifted Education department if she has absolutely no interest in conveying helpful or accurate information to citizens?

4 Year Old Stanford-Binet Testing

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea) — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 17:47:00 +0000

Leah will be undergoing the Stanford-Binet IQ Test next week Wednesday. My understanding is the test takes 3 hours. We plan to prep her by telling her that she'll be playing with a doctor there so they can learn more about how her brain works! She'll love that, because she's always talking about how her "brain" thinks things... "Well, mom, I like that shirt but my BRAIN doesn't!" Ha ha.

As I've mentioned, the state won't pay for testing prior to age 5. What this means is that we'll have to shell out a couple hundred bucks an hour to a private psychologist for the testing. Accordingly, this means that Leah's schoolmates in this gifted K-2 program will all be from advantaged socioeconomic backgrounds. If you're a gifted child in Arizona, but financially disadvantaged, you'll have to wait until 2nd grade most likely to take advantage of any publicly funded programs. How does this make sense? Poor, underachieving children in Arizona get tons of aid.. Poor gifted children, forget it!!

Moreover, since the state won't pay for this and it's not monitored by the school system, I suspect there are many well-heeled Scottsdale families that shell out the dough for testing to get their kids in gifted programs whether or not they are truly gifted, or merely bright. Just speculation on my part, I have absolutely no evidence to back this up.

Leah wants to be a cactus grower!

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea) — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 03:39:00 +0000

This is a question that begs to be asked of a 4 year old and I'm sure I'll continue to ask her until she's actually "something." I have to say that "horticulturist" would be a grand profession - or at least a highly satisfying side gig. The girl LOVES to plant and cook -- nature is in her being.

Curiously, neither Bill nor I could explain what we do. What the hell do we do, anyway?

Tricky Trickster!

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea) — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 03:35:00 +0000

If there is one thing I'll never forget about Leah since she started talking: Leah LOVES word puns and playing with words. This is somewhat related, but reveals her trickster side! She wanted us to play something with her outside tonight while dad and I were relaxing after work and, admittedly, disengaged. Coaxing, "Raise your hand if you want to play chalk with me!" (no hands raised). 20 seconds pass, mom and dad continue "work talk." Ok, "Don't raise your hand if you don't want to play chalk with me!" Hmmmm... ok, so if I don't want to play, do I raise my hand or don't I? She's tricking us! Nevertheless, it was hysterical, and she got us to play with her. Creative little monster!

Tales of the Day: Our Immune System and Homework!

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea) — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 03:17:00 +0000

Leah was in all her splendor this evening. We do our best to take her extreme intensity with a grain of salt, "overcitabilities they say..." and work with what we can. She is an absolute joy! How I love these children. One of the things I have never done as a parent is talk "baby talk." In fact, I have always been waaaay over the top in discussion of concepts. Interestingly, Leah typically gets these concepts in one 5 minute go-around:

Example - Following our organic oatmeal preparation (Leah LOVES to cook!) this morning Leah and I discussed our immune system - what makes it healthy and what makes it weak. Junk food in = weak immune system. Healthy food (she knows - fruit, whole grains, vegetables) = healthy immune system. So this evening when we got home she told her dad all about what makes a healthy or weak immune system ("no, the immune system doesn't DIE, it's just weak if you're not healthy or putting good things in your body"). In general, Leah knows that pretty much all junk food is OK in very small amounts.... the bulk of our diet should be fruits/vegetables/grains/etc. She completely understands this concept.

Another funny story - we went to the McCormick Railroad Park over the weekend in Scottsdale (very cool for kids and for parents too), and she was stressing about doing "homework" WHILE WE WERE ON THE CAROUSEL! Ummmm... ok. That evening when we returned, sure enough Leah went to work on her "homework" which consisted of a written story in a notebook about a Prince and Princess (absolute freaking horrors to those who know me, and know that I have done everything humanly possible to avoid genderization of her surroundings. Jeez, the kid has never even seen a Disney movie!).

When it was time for bed she said that she would continue her "homework" in the morning - which she did. I quote her writing here, "Wunc a pona time, know a little prinsess she had a prince, the princess and the princes (some illegible type here.. idamis idrlla?) and toys to and this story the end."

Advocating Gifted Education and Gifted Testing

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea) — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 03:06:00 +0000

I am vowing today to convert this blog into a true to life journal of parenting a gifted child. Let's see where this takes us - with its grit, delight, and frustration in all its glory. In the next month Leah will be undergoing the Stanford-Binet L-M IQ Test via a private Scottsdale psychologist. Maricopa County schools unfortunately do not do gifted testing under 5 years of age. A shame indeed! I am certainly not in the education advocacy arena yet - although I believe there is a long road ahead here for our family. There are just 2 Phoenix public schools that I am aware of that cover self-contained gifted K-2 (in the 5th largest US City); meanwhile, the public schools fund a tremendous amount to low-income and below-average learning students (ahem, the "No Child Left Behind Act."

What about our best and brightest? The future political, business, and science visionaries of this century? It is beyond a tragedy that these students are not being given fair and equal resources. I read somewhere recently that teaching a gifted 140 IQ student at the average 100 IQ student level is akin to teaching our masses (100 IQ give or take... average) at the pace of someone with an IQ of 60 - mentally retarded. Surely this would be unacceptable to the vast majority of citizens. Again, I suspect that education advocacy for my gifted children is in my future.

It's Official: Baby Reader #2

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea) — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 04:02:00 +0000

Exciting news! We were asked to get some past video of Leah reading (click here to see her reading at 20 months on YouTube) and thought we would try and get some of Lanae as well. Well - VOILA! - another baby reader has emerged! Here is a clip of Lanae reading 1 day shy of 13 months old. It kind of looks like Lanae doesn't know all of the words, but a few of the ambiguous responses are more boredom than anything. We had tried a few times prior to capture the video but she wasn't really into it... this was the best one we could get.

She is reading several other words like "banana," "arms up," "hello," "hot," and "all done". I'm going to do Mommy, Daddy, and Leah next! She's having fun with it, just like Leah did around the same age (well, a little later, I had no idea Leah was recognizing words at 13 months).

It was SO much fun capturing these videos over Labor Day weekend and getting them up on the Net for the family. Leah is really enjoying writing words for Lanae to read as well, but some of her letters are caps so Lanae has trouble reading them. This too shall pass... Leah started reading cursive without being taught around age 2, and can read anything now... no matter how messy the writing. For now, the experience is a lot of fun for our family -- we thought Leah was the anomaly!

1 year milestones and 4 year milestones

noreply@blogger.com (Andrea) — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 19:07:00 +0000

Lanae 12 month milestones:

Walking 12 mos & 1 week
More words!
"hello?" ("hewo?" into telephone), up, down, bye bye (buh bye), book, banana (nanana), ball, kitty
Since birth, music has been an instant mood-changer. Loves all kinds of music and will begin rocking and "singing" anytime she hears music, no matter how faintly she hears it.
She is beginning to recognize words like "clap" (claps), "no" (shakes head no), "ball" (says "ball!" I am not pushing this or using flashcards yet so I have no idea which ones she actually knows or not. I figure that I will "test" her around Christmastime to determine which words she is truly recognizing. This way, I have a benchmark since Leah was recognizing about 25 words at 16 mos.

Leah 4 year milestones:

Lots of math in everyday life. Example: Currently obsessed with the age difference between herself and sister Lanae, "So, when I'm 15, Lanae will be... 14-13-12... 12!" and so on...
Lots of independent reading "Pirate Mom," "Pinky Dinky Doo," mostly Level 3 books.